Therapy for Relationship Issues
The patterns feel familiar for a reason. They can change.
Maybe it’s the same argument on repeat, a fear of being left that shows up no matter who you’re with, or a habit of pulling away the moment someone gets close. Maybe you give and give, and still feel unseen.
Relationship patterns are often rooted in attachment: the ways your nervous system learned to seek closeness and stay safe in your earliest relationships. Those strategies made sense then, but in adult relationships they can lead to conflict, distance, and feeling alone even when you’re not.
Therapy helps you understand where your patterns come from, calm the reactions that take over in conflict, and build the inner security that makes healthier connection possible.
Telehealth for NY, FL, MI residents
“Why do I keep ending up here?”
Because your nervous system learned how to love before you had a say in it.
It might look like:
Fear of abandonment, or needing constant reassurance
Pulling away when things get close
People-pleasing, over-giving, or losing yourself in relationships
Conflict that escalates fast or never gets resolved
Being drawn to partners who are unavailable or unkind
Feeling lonely, even when you’re not alone
These patterns aren’t character flaws. They’re strategies that once kept you safe.
UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS
The way you love was shaped long before this relationship.
Our earliest relationships teach the nervous system what to expect from closeness: whether others will stay, respond, or hurt us. From those experiences we develop attachment patterns, like holding on tighter when we sense distance, or shutting down when emotions run high.
In adult relationships, those patterns can be set off in a split second. A delayed text or a certain tone of voice can trigger a reaction much bigger than the moment, because your body is responding to an older story.
Healing means building a sense of safety inside yourself, so closeness stops feeling like a threat.
Telehealth for NY, FL, MI residents
TRAUMA & RELATIONSHIPS
When relationships were where the hurt happened.
If you grew up with neglect, unpredictability, or constant criticism, or if you’ve lived through a controlling or abusive relationship, it makes sense that closeness feels complicated. The parts of you that learned to stay on guard don’t automatically relax just because someone new is kind.
Healing those earlier experiences is often what makes lasting change in relationships possible.
HOW WE'LL WORK TOGETHER
Understand the pattern. Calm the reaction. Choose differently.
This is individual therapy, not couples counseling. It focuses on you: your history, your nervous system, and the ways you protect yourself in connection. As those shift, the way you show up in every relationship can shift too.
PHASE 1
Understanding Your Patterns
We map the cycles that keep repeating in your relationships and trace them back to where they began, with curiosity rather than blame.
PHASE 2
Healing What’s Underneath
We work with the fears, old wounds, and emotional needs that drive your reactions, drawing on attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy.
PHASE 3
Practicing New Ways of Relating
Using tools from interpersonal therapy and the Gottman Method, we build skills for setting boundaries, naming your needs, and staying grounded in conflict, and you begin trying them in your real relationships.
Approaches that may help: Attachment & Relational Therapy · Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) · Gottman Method · Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), adapted for individual work
New to therapy, or not sure which approach fits? Explore my holistic approach →
Telehealth for NY, FL, MI residents
AN INTEGRATIVE APPROACH
Whole-person care, every step of the way.
One method may guide our work, but it’s never the only one. Your past lives in your mind, body, and relationships. I combine evidence-based and mind-body approaches to help you work through the past and move forward with more support, clarity and confidence.
WHAT A SESSION FEELS LIKE
A safe place to practice something new.
Sessions take place by secure telehealth, from a space where you feel comfortable. The therapy relationship itself becomes part of the work: a place to notice your patterns as they happen, say what you need, and experience being understood without having to earn it.
You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin.
WHAT CHANGES AS THE WORK UNFOLDS
Connection starts to feel safer.
Feeling more secure, with less need for constant reassurance
Staying present in conflict instead of shutting down or escalating
Setting boundaries without drowning in guilt
Choosing partners and friends who treat you well
Saying what you need, and trusting that you deserve it
Feeling at home in yourself, in or out of a relationship
Telehealth for NY, FL, MI residents
MEET YOUR THERAPIST
Lisa Kent, LCSW
CCTP-II · EMDR-C
My relationship work is individual: you come on your own, and we focus on the patterns you bring into connection. Drawing on attachment theory, interpersonal therapy, the Gottman Method, and emotionally focused therapy, we explore where those patterns began and practice new ways of communicating, setting boundaries, and feeling secure with others.
QUESTIONS, ANSWERED
Relationship therapy FAQs
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No. This is individual therapy focused on you: your patterns, your history, and how you show up in relationships. Change in one person often shifts the whole relationship, even if your partner never joins a session.
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Attachment is the way your nervous system learned to seek safety and closeness with others, based on your earliest relationships. It shapes how you respond to distance, conflict, and intimacy as an adult. Attachment patterns aren’t fixed. With the right support, people can develop a more secure way of relating.
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Familiar often feels like home, even when it hurts. Our nervous systems are drawn to what we know, including dynamics we learned early on. Therapy helps you recognize that pull, understand where it comes from, and build the security to choose differently.
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Yes. The same patterns often show up with family, friends, and coworkers. We can work on any relationship that feels painful or confusing, including the relationship you have with yourself.
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Relationships have a powerful effect on the nervous system. Ongoing conflict, loneliness, or feeling unsafe with someone can keep your body in a state of stress, affecting sleep, mood, and physical health. Supportive connection does the opposite, helping the body settle and recover.
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Your safety comes first. If you’re in danger now, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or call 911. If the relationship is behind you, therapy can help you process what happened, understand why it was so hard to leave, and rebuild trust in yourself and others, at a pace that feels safe.
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It’s a free, no-pressure 15-minute video call. We’ll talk briefly about what’s bringing you to therapy and what you’re hoping for, I’ll answer your questions about how I work, fees, and out-of-network reimbursement, and together we’ll decide whether we’re a good fit. You don’t need to prepare anything, and there’s no obligation to book.
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Sessions are $200 per hour of work together. I am in-network with BCBS and BCN plans for Michigan residents. For New York and Florida residents, I partner with Mentaya to help you use your out-of-network benefits. Depending on your plan, up to 80% of your session cost can be reimbursed, and all of your claims are handled for you. You can check your benefits here (opens in a new window), or we can review them together during your free consultation.
HEALING THROUGH RECONNECTION
You deserve connection that feels safe.
Relationship struggles can leave you feeling alone, even when you’re surrounded by people. Healing reaches every part of you: your mind, your body, your relationships, and your sense of meaning. You deserve care that sees all of it.
Telehealth for NY, FL, MI residents
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Read more from Ouro House
Essays on attachment, the trauma responses, and how early experiences shape the way we love.
